Insight from Jasper and other angsty things.

My brother is a stupid pansy

I have a "brother" Edward,
and sometimes I wish he was Deadward.

All he does is hate himself
and brood and drive his shiny car.
Let's all hope he goes far away in that car.

He goes to meadows all alone
for hours.
Which is kind of girly.

And his emotions! Don't get me started!

Oh, crap. I almost killed his human girlfriend.
Here we go again with all his self-loathin'


The many woes of Edward C.
Oh me!
Oh my!

How I wish I could cry!
Oh Bella, why?!

Why did you jump from that cliff?!
I see no reason.
Regardless of the fact that I left you!
but sigh!

How shall I live without my bella?
and woe is me for me hair
has lost it's shiny sheen!

And I can see no reason for living
if I can't be the most beautiful vampire of them all.

I see only one solution to all
my tearless cries, and sighs....
of my heart.

I will die,
Volturi here I come!
Goodbye world I've gone
to rejoin my sun!

More Pain of the Emo type.

Edward's left!

My Edward is gone
and my life is no longer fun.

All I see is misery,
how could he have left me?
and how could he possibly not love me?

I'm me!

Oh, what is Edward Cullen but a bowl of pain!
My own sadness is driving me insane.

I kind of just want to die
without Edward by my side.

But lots of people would cry.
So instead I'll just lie,
here in the deep dark depressing
confines of my soul.
and sigh.

I don't think Edward was messing.
When he said, "I don't love you, for I am a sparkly vampire,
and our love can never be!"

My Edward is gone,
and my life has no more sun.




If I were a in a Snow-globe (Edward's poem)

If I were in a snow globe I wouldn't have to break Bella's heart.
She'd have never met me if in a snow globe I lived!

But alas I live in the real world, and so I did depart
from Bella because my brother almost ate her,
and myself I can't forgive.

I just wish I lived in a snow globe w/ a hot snow chick
to ease my pain. Or just a chick flick
would do. I would play in the snow

If a snow globe was where I lived.

Emo Pain.

Bella's Sad Bowl of Soup

A sad bowl of soup is my life,
now that Edward is gone.

I'm like a zombie, I'm filled with strife.
Alas! I can't go on.

His sparkly face is far away,
I can't see his topaz eyes.

Why did he leave? I wanted him to stay!
Now my only friends are flies.

A sad bowl of soup is my life.

I sit alone at home.
I write dumb poems, I play my fife.
I cry and refuse to roam.

A sad bowl of soup is my life.
Just one big sad bowl of soup.


Edward's Emo Pain-rage.

My life is now a darkened sky,
for without Bella there is no light.

Even thoug hI left her I just want to sigh,
and cry. And possibly even die.

She jumped off a cliff and died
all because of my sparkliness.

I can't live without that clutzy human.

So the Volturi is where I shall go,
and end my life that is so sullen.

I know that everyone shall miss me
and my sparkly bod.
Especially that kid named Todd.

My life is just a dark abyss
So, I leave my Bella without even one last kiss!

Raps, Rants and other silly things.

Jacob HATES Edward (a rap)

Oh snap!
Listen to my rap!
Edward is lame!
Has too much fame!
Bella loves him!
Obeys his every whim!
If his name were Tim
I'd be happier.

Yeah, Yeah,
That's right, happier.
Yeah, yeah.

*Beatbox solo*

He's too hot
makes me say , "What?"
A lot
Whoo!
Yeah.
He stole my love!
He's not a dove!
He's a vampire y'all!
He's not too tall
and his nose aint too small/
Cuz he's male an' I don't like 'im.
Yeah, yeah.

*beat box solo* ( yes, again.)
That's right!


Running through the Woods

Run, Run, Run,
Edward likes to run.

Especially in the sun.
but only when he's in the woods,
cause someone could see him and that's no good.

Hop, Hop, Hop,
Jasper can't run, he hops.

It's all because of that rabbit on his head,
it affects him even though it's dead.

Run, Run, Hop, Hop, Skip, Skip, Boom, Boom,
The Cullen family runs!

Oh gee!
Let's hope no one sees!

...Wait, what's that sound?
Someone's falling on the ground!

Trip, Trip, Trip,
Bella tries to walk but trips.

Oh! She's bit her lips.

I sigh
as she cries,
half of me hopes she'd just die.

But alas,
for the poor lass,
has Edward Cullen to save her again.

Rouge Vampires, and Baseball.

Vampire Baseball

"Hooray hooray!" the Cullens shout.

"For today the sun's not out!

A storm is brewing in the sky,

so lets run (practically fly)

to the field where we can play!

For vampire baseball it's a wonderful day!"

So off they run one and all,

Alice carries the bat and ball

In her little hands which makes Jasper cry,

Cause he wanted to hold them, that's why.

Esme says, "Now kids play nice,

Don't kill each other or bury each other in rice!"

Emmett smiles mischievously.

Oh! He's naughty as can be!

So they take their places on their teams,

Edward's eye with vengeance gleams.

He's going to win, how determined he is

Cuz Jasper beat him in sparkling and that made his blood fizz!

Bella is watching like, "Wow, golly gee!

Edward's so pretty! I'm glad he likes me!"

So the vampires are playing and having one

when from the trees emerge new vampires, three, not just one.

Uh-oh! Edward's growling. Sorry I think this game is done!


ROUGE VAMPS.

"Oh gee! Oh gee!"

Young Bella squees,

and these are not happy squees.

For you see, three vampires w/ red eyes appeared.

"Red! Not topaz, Red!

I'm practically dead!"

Bella shouts.

For James has caught her scent

and to him it's magnificent.

and hunting's his game,

Bella is now his prey.

Let's hope he succeeds, and on Bella he feeds.

Because it would feel me with such great glee!

Rusty Old Red Truck

Rusty Old Red Truck

I am the rusty red truck

that bella loves ever so much.

But not that Cullen,

who gets so sullen

as soon as he enters my cab.

But to him I merely say, "Too bad!" and gleefully slow myself down.

Renesmee

Renesmee

So my mom names me a real dumb name.

but I grew up way fast which brought me fame.

I will put on your face my hand,

and you will see pictures!