Bella Rambling in the Middle of the Night

ooooooooh sigh. Sigh sigh. I am like tres depressed. Because it is night time and I am not asleep and Edward is not spying on me through my window. You don't even know how attractive he is. So attractive. His eyes are attractive. His nose is attractive. His forehead is attractive. His eyebrows are attractive. His eyelashes are attractive. His ears are attractive. His jawbone is attractive. His collarbone is attractive. And oh my lantic ocean, do not even get me started on his mouth! Heavens above! May I say woot? I am in luuuuuuuuurve. ooooooh yes. Love. I love being in love. I should marry him and then he can turn me into a vampire after we have a mutant baby. Good plan? Yes. But how to tell Eddy-Darling? Sigh. Oooooooooooooh sigh. and thus we have come full circle. heehee

YEAH

Ancient France was beautiful and mysterious.
Ancient France was Edward Cullen.

Bella likes to Freak out and Edward thinks he's awesome

I’m going To Freak Out Now

NO NO NO!

Why’d he go?

WHY OH WHY!?!

Chicken on rye!

One minute, let me go make a sandwich…

Back!

Why did Edward leave?

Now I have to grieve!

My heart he did deceive!

So a basket I will weave.

A basket.

A basket.

A basket of grief.

Too Cool for Biology

So pretty much, I know this all.

I’ve done it in the winter, I’ve done it in the fall.

The amount of knowledge is just too small.

Oh, I’m too cool for biology.

Doesn’t he know I can do all this stuff?

My name is Edward and I’m going to sluff!

It could Happen

The DUEL

Their skin is glitt’ring in the sun,

The vampire battle has just begun.

Jasper grins, “This will be fun!”

But they both can’t win, only one.

Edward thinks he is so cool

He sometimes sluffs his classes at school

And he thinks Jasper is a fool

For Edward knows he can win the duel.

Alice says, “Of boys please,

I’m begging you, stop. I’m on my knees.

Just cause Ed said Jasper’s hair had fleas,

You don’t need to fight! Just freeze!”

But they didn’t freeze, Jasper started to growl.

Edward smiled, but his smile was foul.

Up in the trees there was an owl

Who said “who who” and wore a towel.

Their skin was glitt’ring in the sun,

The vampire battle had finished, was done.

And Edward was crying, all alone.

Edward was crying.

Jasper had won.

A pondering werewolf , Tracker and a story.

What does she see in Edward?
Now, let me think,
while I stand at the sink.
Why does Bella like him?

Because he's so strong?
Cause he's been young for so long?
Cause he can tear off your limb?

What does he have that I haven't got?
Besides his coldness. Cause hey, I'm hot.

Does she just like his indecisive eyes?
What is wrong with her brain?
Oh,it causes me pain!

He won't even share her fries!
So he can run fast, but so can I!

It makes me so mad
I want to say moo!

I love her more, can't she see?
Oh let me think
Whilst I stand at the sink
Why doesn't Bella love me?



The Tracker.

Tracking is really fun
Tracking is fun.
but right now,
The person I'm tracking is Uber dumb,
and also really really gullible.

Now all I gotta do is wait
for this date, that I have with Bella's luscious blood.
After she's escaped from that Edward fella.

And ever so soon will I taste,
her blood. it's scent. so delicious.
That now I'm feeling super vicious.
and bored.
*sigh*
This is taking forever.
waiting is not super fun.
unlike tracking which is not as dumb.

Because I am the best tracker ever.
Oh! She's here, finally!
Beat that Cullen.




An Explanation

We were in the car, driving so far
when suddenly Alice said,
"Oh Jasper stop! You foppish fop! I think that bunny's dead!"

So I got out of the car, and put it on my head.
now it is my hair.
Cause prior to that, my head was bare.

And Alice still loves me so it's okay
I hope you are having a really great day.

Poems from Edward's heart.

Too dang Dangerous

Oh, I'm just too dang dangerous
You know it's really true.
Yeah, I'm just too dang dangerous.
Too dangerous for you.

So back off Bella,
let me go!

You should be scared!
Cause don't you know
that I'm just too dang dangerous.

I just want your blood
because I am very...fangerous
even though I am a stud.

So don't cry Bella
Even though I'm hot.
Cause I'm sorry Bella
You're just not.

And dang, I am too dangerous.


How long is a while?

A long time okay?
Like, more than a day!
Away from me stay
then you'll say yay.

Cause I've been 17 for a while
like a pile of dirty clothes.
Oh Woe!
How morose.
I'm old, got it?

A few poems from Bella

My B.F. is a Vampire!

Could anything be more romantic
than a bipolar vampire?

No, there isn't.
I'll tell you why!

He sparkles in the sunlight. (How dreamy!)
He only drinks from animals. (How caring.)
He can read all minds, except for mine. (How cool.)
He's also been watching me sleep since before we started dating. (How flattering and not disturbing in the slightest!)

And lastly, he really really wants to drink my blood.
but he promised he wouldn't
because he loves me. :)


Why do I feel this way?
I'm so confused
that I have the blues.

Oh, Edward Cullen.

Common sense ( My brain) is telling me to stay away!

but nay!
For my heart, it says that I should never ever stray from his side!

Oh how I love that sparkly guy!

So, now of three things I am absolutely certain.

-He's a Vampire.
-I love him.
-and I'm pretty sure he wants to drink my blood.

Insight from Jasper and other angsty things.

My brother is a stupid pansy

I have a "brother" Edward,
and sometimes I wish he was Deadward.

All he does is hate himself
and brood and drive his shiny car.
Let's all hope he goes far away in that car.

He goes to meadows all alone
for hours.
Which is kind of girly.

And his emotions! Don't get me started!

Oh, crap. I almost killed his human girlfriend.
Here we go again with all his self-loathin'


The many woes of Edward C.
Oh me!
Oh my!

How I wish I could cry!
Oh Bella, why?!

Why did you jump from that cliff?!
I see no reason.
Regardless of the fact that I left you!
but sigh!

How shall I live without my bella?
and woe is me for me hair
has lost it's shiny sheen!

And I can see no reason for living
if I can't be the most beautiful vampire of them all.

I see only one solution to all
my tearless cries, and sighs....
of my heart.

I will die,
Volturi here I come!
Goodbye world I've gone
to rejoin my sun!

More Pain of the Emo type.

Edward's left!

My Edward is gone
and my life is no longer fun.

All I see is misery,
how could he have left me?
and how could he possibly not love me?

I'm me!

Oh, what is Edward Cullen but a bowl of pain!
My own sadness is driving me insane.

I kind of just want to die
without Edward by my side.

But lots of people would cry.
So instead I'll just lie,
here in the deep dark depressing
confines of my soul.
and sigh.

I don't think Edward was messing.
When he said, "I don't love you, for I am a sparkly vampire,
and our love can never be!"

My Edward is gone,
and my life has no more sun.




If I were a in a Snow-globe (Edward's poem)

If I were in a snow globe I wouldn't have to break Bella's heart.
She'd have never met me if in a snow globe I lived!

But alas I live in the real world, and so I did depart
from Bella because my brother almost ate her,
and myself I can't forgive.

I just wish I lived in a snow globe w/ a hot snow chick
to ease my pain. Or just a chick flick
would do. I would play in the snow

If a snow globe was where I lived.

Emo Pain.

Bella's Sad Bowl of Soup

A sad bowl of soup is my life,
now that Edward is gone.

I'm like a zombie, I'm filled with strife.
Alas! I can't go on.

His sparkly face is far away,
I can't see his topaz eyes.

Why did he leave? I wanted him to stay!
Now my only friends are flies.

A sad bowl of soup is my life.

I sit alone at home.
I write dumb poems, I play my fife.
I cry and refuse to roam.

A sad bowl of soup is my life.
Just one big sad bowl of soup.


Edward's Emo Pain-rage.

My life is now a darkened sky,
for without Bella there is no light.

Even thoug hI left her I just want to sigh,
and cry. And possibly even die.

She jumped off a cliff and died
all because of my sparkliness.

I can't live without that clutzy human.

So the Volturi is where I shall go,
and end my life that is so sullen.

I know that everyone shall miss me
and my sparkly bod.
Especially that kid named Todd.

My life is just a dark abyss
So, I leave my Bella without even one last kiss!

Raps, Rants and other silly things.

Jacob HATES Edward (a rap)

Oh snap!
Listen to my rap!
Edward is lame!
Has too much fame!
Bella loves him!
Obeys his every whim!
If his name were Tim
I'd be happier.

Yeah, Yeah,
That's right, happier.
Yeah, yeah.

*Beatbox solo*

He's too hot
makes me say , "What?"
A lot
Whoo!
Yeah.
He stole my love!
He's not a dove!
He's a vampire y'all!
He's not too tall
and his nose aint too small/
Cuz he's male an' I don't like 'im.
Yeah, yeah.

*beat box solo* ( yes, again.)
That's right!


Running through the Woods

Run, Run, Run,
Edward likes to run.

Especially in the sun.
but only when he's in the woods,
cause someone could see him and that's no good.

Hop, Hop, Hop,
Jasper can't run, he hops.

It's all because of that rabbit on his head,
it affects him even though it's dead.

Run, Run, Hop, Hop, Skip, Skip, Boom, Boom,
The Cullen family runs!

Oh gee!
Let's hope no one sees!

...Wait, what's that sound?
Someone's falling on the ground!

Trip, Trip, Trip,
Bella tries to walk but trips.

Oh! She's bit her lips.

I sigh
as she cries,
half of me hopes she'd just die.

But alas,
for the poor lass,
has Edward Cullen to save her again.

Rouge Vampires, and Baseball.

Vampire Baseball

"Hooray hooray!" the Cullens shout.

"For today the sun's not out!

A storm is brewing in the sky,

so lets run (practically fly)

to the field where we can play!

For vampire baseball it's a wonderful day!"

So off they run one and all,

Alice carries the bat and ball

In her little hands which makes Jasper cry,

Cause he wanted to hold them, that's why.

Esme says, "Now kids play nice,

Don't kill each other or bury each other in rice!"

Emmett smiles mischievously.

Oh! He's naughty as can be!

So they take their places on their teams,

Edward's eye with vengeance gleams.

He's going to win, how determined he is

Cuz Jasper beat him in sparkling and that made his blood fizz!

Bella is watching like, "Wow, golly gee!

Edward's so pretty! I'm glad he likes me!"

So the vampires are playing and having one

when from the trees emerge new vampires, three, not just one.

Uh-oh! Edward's growling. Sorry I think this game is done!


ROUGE VAMPS.

"Oh gee! Oh gee!"

Young Bella squees,

and these are not happy squees.

For you see, three vampires w/ red eyes appeared.

"Red! Not topaz, Red!

I'm practically dead!"

Bella shouts.

For James has caught her scent

and to him it's magnificent.

and hunting's his game,

Bella is now his prey.

Let's hope he succeeds, and on Bella he feeds.

Because it would feel me with such great glee!

Rusty Old Red Truck

Rusty Old Red Truck

I am the rusty red truck

that bella loves ever so much.

But not that Cullen,

who gets so sullen

as soon as he enters my cab.

But to him I merely say, "Too bad!" and gleefully slow myself down.

Renesmee

Renesmee

So my mom names me a real dumb name.

but I grew up way fast which brought me fame.

I will put on your face my hand,

and you will see pictures!

Sparkly Vampire

Sparkly Vampire


If I was a sparkly vampire

I might just be inspired

to cry and scream and never be seen ,

or throw my self in front of a tire.

Because let's face it,

there's nothing more gay

than a pale white

sparkly vampire.


Sparkly Vampire II

Sparkly vampire in the sun,
drinking blood and having fun!

Shiny skin is blinding you,
All dimond-esque, it's really true!

But oh! Alas! Ah, woe is me!

Is this a rivalry I see?
Indeed it is what shall be done?

Emmett thinks this will be fun.
Cuz Edward, jealous of Jasper's hair
says HIS skin is sparklier.

But Jasper says his sparkles more
Bella is running for the door.
Because her love is about to fight.
She's so sad, she'll go find a wildebeast to bite.

Battle Battle, hear the sound,
see them thrashing on the ground.

Sparkly Vampires in the sun,
Oh look! the battle's done.
Edward's crying, Jasper's won.


J- ust
A-bout
S-tarting
P-perpetual
E-mergency
R-ehab

Volvo

A crowd favorite:

Volvo

Edward abuses me

When he uses me

Drives me too fast.

Instead of staying back w/ all the other cars he drives PAST.

Wastes my gas.

Ruins my wheels.

He ignores all my grunts and squeals

and just says, "Hey Bella, guess what? I don't even have to look at the road."

Bella Swan-

Bella Swan

I am clumsy,

for I am no bunny.

I love Edward,

cause he's pretty.

Everyone loves me.

but not Edward.

Because he's too pretty for me. :(

Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen

I am so sad

Cause I am so bad.

Cuz I love Bella.

Not Ella.

Just Bella.

But I'm so bad for her.

And if I was a cat I'd purr.

I like to drive my car real fast.





E- gotistical
D-epressed
W-eird
A-nd
R-eally
D-orky ( or Dangerous)